Look at the sky!

I've been seeing a lot of baby dragons in the clouds lately. I wonder why.

Welcome Back, Kotter

Moved back to Dordt. Not much to say at the moment (I'm sleepy) but I'll start updating more regularly--no classes on MWF should afford me plenty of writing time. I will mention, however, that I'm going to start a new blog in addition to this one. Each post will overanalyze a children's movie (mostly Disney movies) and make you feel terrible for having loved them. It will be updated every Monday! I'll post the link when I create the blog.

"Up your nose with a rubber hose!"

Ignoring the fact that I haven't updated since February and diving in headfirst...

Last week I became a "victim of the Recession" and was laid off from my farm job. While I really need a job (and the coiling tendrils of my applications have crept into every business in town), this is one of the best things that's happened to me this summer. I spent all day in the local coffeeshop, listening to Mozart and working on my plays. And now, updating my blog.

Expect regular updates from now on! Hoo-ah!

(Sidenote: the sun just went behind the edge of a very dark and thick cloud. Now I know where the idea of a "silver lining" comes from--but this cloud has a lining of burning magnesium.)

Lawls.

Step 1: Grow a long, twirly mustache.

Step 2: Build tiny, lightweight replicas of barbells.

Step 3: Make a stop-motion animation of my mustache lifting weights.


This is going to be the biggest thing since the dramatic prairie dog.

Pete Townshend would be proud. Maybe.

Stopping at a rest area on my way to Omaha, I discovered some excellent graffiti above the toilet. I think it speaks for itself.

(sorry about the quality--all I had with me was my cell camera)

"own that destroy this morning"

I received this bit of spam in my gmail account the other day from someone known only as "mary". I thought it was a nice bit of poetry. The formatting is my own.

own that destroy this morning

Happy nine mount had looked name seed.
Describe ran
wash much
between along handle each put.

Fix question lone meat.
Why total release question high seven at refuse us. Times introduce consist west.

Lead wing natural pair record
on happy guide match brother.
Deny refer mr table left.

Why fly element arm. Sharp exist fill door.
Tie sound seven symbol contact mix.
Temperature game syllable line lot pitch nation piece.

Have chair she by anger would
should
field. Wash head self stay remain stood steel hunt pitch.

Fast nose few wall car distant. Basic bat repeat off.

Meant enable cool discuss five pound better noise.
Supply home argue page repeat finish followed do

horse wake up.

Include treat
tail
fast post pull.

Child intend however school and plural dance side. Grew gentle cotton saw in spend discover.

Screw you, existential crisis.

Hey, remember that time I said I was gonna post twice but only posted once? Good times, man.

Today I was reminded of an existential quandary in which I found myself last year. I was also reminded that I never really found my way out of the quandary, a revelation that threatened/threatens to drag me back in. Now I will explain so you can join me in my angst:

René Descartes begins his Meditation on First Philosophy by pointing out that we can't trust our senses to provide an accurate view of the universe. I might think I see Emilio Estevez down the road, but it turns out to be a very good-looking tree. Furthermore, we can't trust our mind: dreams, for example, seem extremely real when we are having them. Thus, we can't make any assumptions when determining the nature of the world--when we start down that road, one false assumption leads to another, then another, and before you know it I'm asking a maple sapling for an autograph.

Descartes, being the determined chap that he is, refuses to let this faze him. He'll start from the very beginning (a very good place to start) and take nothing for granted, because his mind and his senses can't be trusted to make assertions on their own. A noble, if impossible, effort.

Here's where the trouble starts. Descartes starts out by contemplating his very existence, which I suppose makes sense. "How do I know I exist?" he asks. "I'm beginning to have serious doubts about my existence."

But then, a revelation! "Wait a minute, I'm having serious doubts about my existence! I am having serious doubts about MY existence. Something must be doing the doubting! Hey presto, it's me, I exist!"

And before you can say "Cogito ergo sum", Descartes becomes one of the most famous philosophers...ever.

Here's the problem though. Remember that whole "not gonna make any assumptions" bit? René makes not one, not two, but three assumptions in that statement. First, he assumes that he is actually having doubts about his existence (by extension assuming that he can fathom what doubt is, or that he can fathom anything at all). Second, he assumes that because doubt is present in his mind, something must be actively thinking and doubting. Third, he assumes that if something or someone is actively thinking and doubting, it must be him.

So if you're unwilling, as Descartes claims to be, to take anything for granted, the whole "I think therefore I am" bit falls apart completely. Which means we need to devise some other, non-assumptive method of proving existence (unlikely) or face the fact that we might not exist at all. Aargh.

I call this problem "Descartes' Pit", a metaphor which can best be explained by this fictionalized retelling of my first encounter with the man...


Descartes: Hey, Jason, I'm gonna go down into this pit of unassumption. I won't take anything with me to get out, because anything I take with me is a false construct and won't really do me any good anyway.

Me: I dunno, René. That's kind of a terrifying leap for my mind to make.

Descartes: Aw, c'mon. It'll be enlightening AND fun. We'll discover ultimate Truths!

Me: Ah, heck, okay.

We jump into the pit.

Me: Wow, there's really...no way out of this pit. What now?

Descartes: It's okay, I brought this ladder with me.

Me: But I thought you said--

Descartes: Did I say something about ladders? I don't remember. Oh well, let's get out of here.

Descartes climbs up the ladder and out of the pit.

Descartes: See? No problem. Come on up.

I attempt to climb the ladder; it immediately breaks.

Descartes: Oh. I guess that ladder wasn't meant to support any weight. Oh well, see ya!

Descartes runs away giggling. I remain in the pit.